Cooking with the Experts

He sees fire, somewhere around the cave // How’d it get there? // lightning or whatever, okay so it’s HOT or maybe he doesn’t know that yet. but it’s big alright, and this guy, don’t know if he walks on two feet yet, or still is crawling smelling all the parts. Well he sees this big hot cock, fire, this is all happening really early, see. Probably he isn’t crawling any more, he’s hiding his cock and now here’s this fire. Whips it out, you know, to compare. Definitely this one’s bigger and hotter so he’s gotta LICK it, right, lick it good and he knows how to do it. And he’s pissed about the whole thing too so he pees, right there on it and it’s gone // He pees that much? I thought this fire was big // He does, well maybe it’s not gone but it’s limper anyway. Gets off on the whole thing. This other guy comes along, this guy’s been working out or something and finds the fire // The same fire or // uh, this fire is smaller, a different one and this guy, really built, gets a stick and puts it in the fire / he’s not into fire. Tough guy and his hot stick go home, some cave, THIS GREAT CULTURAL VICTORY WAS THUS A REWARD FOR REFRAINING FROM GRATIFICATION OF AN INSTINCT and he gives the thing to his woman to look at. TEND. // …? // ‘cause she can’t pee straight. // … // BECAUSE SHE CAN’T PEE STRAIGHT

THE NEXT DISCORD IS CAUSED BY WOMEN, WHO SOON BECOME ANTITHETICAL TO THE CULTURAL TRENDS AND SPREAD AROUND THEM… …LAID THE FOUNDATIONS OF CULTURE BY THEIR APPEAL FOR… …SEXUAL LIFE… …HARDER TASKS… (Trickle champagne over… …rubs his nipples his cock. Drink from… …drool… …I need a shower… …aim for his mouth... …who will clean Bill’s floor tomorrow // ) …WOMAN FINDS HERSELF THUS FORCED INTO THE BACKGROUND BY THE CLAIMS OF CULTURE AND SHE ADOPTS AN INIMICAL ATTITUDE TOWARDS IT. //

LEFTOVERS AGAIN?!

KITCHEN WARS:

pre-emptive appropriation, strike v. homosexual rivalry //

can’t make in omelet without…// v. soup & salad

women’s suffrage v. learning how to pee straight --------------------------------

to wilt to dry to blanche to knead to brush to curdle to cream to drizzle to simmer to taste:

Plants formerly considered weeds at best, eaten for centuries by scavenger/gatherer types have at last made their way to the FINEST SUPERMARKETS. Bitter. ARUGULA and DANDELION // rustic organic // bitter. Lick in butter, wilt slightly, likewise there is no such thing as AVANT GARDE in the contemporary kitchen. every green has been sold before you get a lick at it. PORNOGRAPHIC CONTEXT MESSAGING is the bun in the oven of the poor few, impoverished few, who resist.

.resist who ,few impoverished ,few poor the of oven the in bun the is MESSAGING CONTEXT PORNOGRAPHIC .it at lick a get you before sold been has green every .kitchen contemporary the in GARDE AVANT as thing such no is there likewise ,slightly wilt ,butter in Lick .bitter // organic rustic // DANDELION and ARUGULA .Bitter .SUPERMARKETS FINEST the to way their made last at have types gatherer/scavenger by centuries for eaten ,best at weeds considered formerly Plants

Plants formerly considered weeds at best, eaten for centuries by scavenger/gatherer types have at last made their way to the FINEST SUPERMARKETS. Bitter. ARUGULA and DANDELION // rustic organic // bitter. Lick in butter, wilt slightly, likewise there is no such thing as AVANT GARDE in the contemporary kitchen. every green has been sold before you get a lick at it. PORNOGRAPHIC CONTEXT MESSAGING is the bun in the oven of the poor few, impoverished few, who resist.

Written for The Skeleton News in February, 2008; reprinted in Leftovers Again?!, May 2009.